Inevitable
by quinnifer
Summary: *Chapter 5 (final chapter) up* M/L loosely based on VS3. Angst, drama, pain, etc. Enjoy.
1. Default Chapter

The inevitable confrontation of Logan and Max in VS3.

"So, when _were_ you going to tell me?" she asked carefully as she leaned on his doorframe into his office.

He studies her carefully. He doesn't want to assume he knows what she's talking about, but the inevitable is clearly facing him now.

"I don't know Max. I didn't exactly make a plan yet." he exhales, wondering what to say next.

Max rights herself from the doorframe and takes measured steps until she is standing in front of him. She inhales as if to speak, then exhales. She doesn't really know what to say either.

Their eyes lock. They have been down this road before. She gently puts her hand on his forearm as it rests on the computer chair arm.

Finally, she speaks. " I'll do whatever you want. I'll be wherever you want me to be." 

He looks at her. "Thanks Max."

She holds her hands out to him and he takes her small, strong hands into his. She gently tugs on him to rise. He inhales deeply, then rises slowly, pain etching into his blue eyes.

"I guess I didn't want to see it before." she says as she looks down at her feet. 

"Yeah, I didn't want you to see it either." he says softly. He motions for her to join him on the couch with a bottle of wine. His steps are slow and deliberate. She watches now, with the efficiency of a military re-con soldier. She shakes her head in disbelief at her own ability of avoid what has been in front of her, for what now, a month? Perhaps she is becoming too human, she thinks, using the infamous 'denial' so well.

Logan sits slowly on the couch, wondering now if every time he sits, will he ever be able to stand. He moves his foot; his own personal assurance that it's not quite over yet. Max sits in the chair, facing him, studying him.

She leans forward, resting her arms on the thighs. She is ready to absorb all of this, and she will not stop now until it has all come out. Logan recognizes the body language and prepares himself mentally for the "debriefing" his girlfriend will require from him.

"So, medically, let's begin there." she says without inflection.

Logan watches the deep chocolate eyes absorb all that he tells her about the miracle cure, and the miracle failure. When he has finished, she leans back in her chair. Minutes pass before she speaks.

"I love you." she says evenly. It is not what he expected to hear, but the feeling of comfort that has washed over him leaves him speechless. He looks at her and nods.

He gestures to the wine. She opens the bottle and manages to contort the cork into an unrecognizable shape. He smiles as she pours. She hands him a glass and proposes a toast.

"To our road together. It may not be smooth, but it's ours." she clinks his glass so lightly that he's not even sure they touched. He smiles at her toast, then drinks deeply. Finally, he speaks.

"Max, all that I can say, I believe you already know. If I tried to push you away, I believe you wouldn't let me. I can't say that I feel okay with any of this. I feel lost again, but overall, I know I want you with me." he cannot lift his gaze to meet her eyes.

"Thank you for letting me hear that. I needed to hear it. And Logan. . . I know there is nothing that can be said now to take away this hurt that you feel, and that I feel for you. I just want you to feel loved by me."

"If I could run from this, I would." he says as he looks out the window at the fog descending on the city.

"If running could stop this from catching up to you, I'd do it with you." she says as she swirls her wine delicately in her glass. She is hearing what he isn't saying and understands. She herself has felt cages, hell as been caged, enough times in her life to know that if a chance to run presented itself, she would take off and never look back. Even now, the mere thought of Logan's fate made her nerves fire. She was starting to feel the need for her Ninja, but no, not tonight. She would not run when he needed her. She would wait.

"Logan, how long. . ." she wasn't sure it was a question she should have asked.

"I honestly don't know. I doctor sees a rapid deterioration, so soon, it seems, but as far as a week, two weeks, I can't say." 

Max felt her stomach lurch. Logan's attitude was so steady, so even, so military. Maybe he had done his grieving already. Maybe he was just trying to get through the waiting with some shred of sanity. She was having trouble matching his composure. She stood suddenly and walked toward the window. She faced the cold glass and breathed deeply. She would not allow tears to form under her lashes. Damn it, she was a military fighting machine, and if she willed herself to do something, or in this case, not do something, then that's how it goes down. That was before, she thought ruefully, that was before she met Cale. The warm hand on her shoulder jolted her out of her trance. She leaned back, ever so slightly, unsure of the weight his body could bare. But for the moment, she would enjoy his strong chest pressing against her back. 

"I know it's a lot to take in." he said as he wrapped his arms around her narrow waist. He could feel her taut abdomen and firm muscles running down the length of her hips. 

"No, Logan," she said spinning around to face him. "Don't you worry about me. Not for a second. I'm okay." she smiled and he returned with one of his own. They were both faking it, he thought, and not doing a good job. He wondered who would break down first, or at all. Max, after all, was strong and could school herself to be detached if warranted. He, on the other hand, was raised to push emotion way down below the surface. He was well practiced at pretending it didn't exist at all. 

"Let's go to bed. I'm so tired." he whispered into her velvety hair. With that, she turned and led him into his bedroom. 

When dawn finally broke, Max was relieved. Night was so tough for her. The waiting. She was recharged after only two or three hours. She needed to get out of there for a while. She needed to run, or get to her motorcycle. She slowly climbed over Logan's sleeping form and slipped into a black turtleneck and black exercise pants. The irony was not lost on her that she looked the part of the cat burglar once again. She tiptoed to the window and let herself out. She easily scaled the wall to the roof and there, with the Needle in sight, she inhaled deeply and then let the sob out that had been stuck in her throat since last night. She let the tears fall. She wasn't sure what she was mourning. Was the pain all for Logan? Or was some of it for her, and all the things they would never share now that he was soon to be returned to the wheelchair. She laughed out loud. She had told him the chair didn't matter; that she didn't see it. Was that true? After all, when no possibility existed of him ever walking, it was not a thought she ever entertained. This was too hard. What kind of medical freak show was this? Paralyzed, then not, then paralyzed again? Her head swam. Back at Manticore, any soldier that sustained an injury that was untreatable was terminated. No such thought ever existed as to a soldier's value if their body could not perform at 100% efficiency. She wondered if Logan knew about that? 

Max climbed back down and through the window. Logan was waiting in the faint light of dawn in a chair in the living room. 

"The roof?" he asked simply.

"Yeah, I needed some space." she said as she sat next to him.

"Feeling any better?" he said as he tried to casually sip his coffee.

"A bit." 

"Look Max, if you need to get out of here for awhile, please don't worry about me. I completely understand." he smiled at her.

"I don't want to leave you." she whispered.

"You're afraid that it will happen if you're not here." 

"Yeah," she nodded.

"I feel like I should be alone, truthfully." he could not meet her gaze. They both knew each other's games so well. He was being so brutally honest with her, and she knew it.

"Okay. I'm outta here." she rose and tossled his hair as she passed by him. She had to force herself from running for the door. As she pulled the brass doorknob shut behind her, she exhaled and let the tears roll once again. 

Inside, Logan gripped the arm of the chair in an attempt to quell the pain that ran mercilessly up and down his spine. His ravaged nerve endings were firing haphazardly now and he knew it would soon be over. He stood and steadied himself before heading into the shower. His feet were sluggish to follow the commands his brain sent them. It would be sooner rather than later, he thought. "Good, let it be done," he shouted out loud. 

After a long hot shower, Logan exited his bedroom, still towel drying his hair to find Alec waiting in the living room. 

"Alec," 

"Yeah, I wanted to see, um , you know." 

"Yeah, well, soon so try not to be too anxious." Logan shot back as he headed into the kitchen.

"Hey man, that's not what I meant and you know that. I just wanted to see if you needed anything." Alec seated himself on one of Logan's kitchen stools and watched him prepare an omelet. 

Logan cracked three eggs in a bowl and threw the shells in the garbage with a little too much force.

"Yeah Alec, I know. I'm sorry." he began beating the bowl's contents, forcing himself to relax his grip on the whisk.

"Listen, just call me if you need me." and with that Alec rose to leave.

Logan nodded at the man, and thought bitterly that what he needed was to steal Alec's body, or his spine at least. "God," Logan said out loud. He was jealous of Alec already and he wasn't even back in the chair yet. He slammed his hands down on the counter in frustration. Alec was everything Max should want in a partner. He was after all, just like her. He hated dealing with this all over again. The insecurity, the frustration. He knew Max loved him, sitting or standing, so why question it again? He shuffled to the bar stool that Alec had occupied a moment ago and ate his omelet quickly, not even noticing that is was burned on the bottom.

Four days later: (Jam Pony)

OC: "So girl, how long you gonna keep this up?" she tried to say casually.

"I'm going to wait until he calls me. He knows I'll come running. I just don't want to crowd him right now." Max answered softly.

"This woman is not so sure that is for the best." Original Cindy said as she loaded her bag with parcels to be delivered. 

As Max and OC walked out the door, Alec practically collided with them.

"Where's the fire?" OC yelled at him.

Alec didn't seem to hear OC as he locked eyes with Max. 

"Max," Alec spoke breathlessly. "He's leaving. I sped over here, but he might already be gone. He was just about out the door when I left."

"What!" Max's head swam.

"Just go Max, before he's gone." 

Max grabbed her bike and pedaled with intensity, silently wishing her Ninja were under her rather than her bike. She flew right into the lobby of Foggle Towers on her bike and skidded to a halt in front of the elevator just as the doors opened. There, with Bling by his side, sat Logan in his wheelchair. Max's breath caught in her throat and she prayed Logan could not hear the hitch in her breath. 

"Don't" Max stated with more force than she felt. 

"It's too late for this conversation Max." and with that he wheeled past her. She looked up at Bling and he looked down at the floor and slowly shook his head. Max couldn't tell if he disapproved of Logan's decision to leave, or Max's attempts at stopping him.

Max turned around and watched Logan climb into the passenger seat of Bling's car and pull his motionless legs in one at a time. Her heart thumped in her chest. 'This hurts too much' she thought. She let her bike fall to the floor with a clank. She walked to the open car door where Logan waited for Bling. 

"Is this it Logan?" she whispered.

"Yeah, I guess it is Max." he tried to smile at her.

"No, Max was never my real name. I tried to pretend I was a real person, with a real life, real friends, real love." with the last word Max let the tears fall freely. "But I'm not Max. Never was. I'm only what I was meant to be I guess. No point in running anymore. Know this Logan: if you leave me right now, you will never see me again. Is that how you want it?" she made her voice flat.

"It has to be Max." he couldn't meet her intense gaze.

"I told you, Max was never who I really was. I'm X5-452."

And with that, 452 turned and walked down the street, shedding her shoulder bag still holding packages to be delivered. She did not care about them anymore. She was a soldier, not a bike messenger. This had been a dream, or a nightmare depending on who you ask. It didn't really matter anyway, because it was over.

Logan sat in the car, watching her walk farther and farther away from him. His hands sat tightly clasped in his lap. His heart was aching. Bling finally came around and climbed in the driver's seat. 

"I think you may have just killed her man," he spoke to his friend.

"No, she'll be okay eventually. She's a strong girl." he answered, not sure who he was trying to convince.

"Maybe, but maybe not." Bling wanted to say so much more, but he knew it didn't matter now. Logan was not going to change his mind. The man was nothing if not stubborn. Bling just couldn't figure out why now, after all they had been through together, would he push her away. Bling knew, as Logan did, that this would be it for Max. She would never look for him, and most likely, they would never see each other again. He just hoped Max would be okay. Logan was wrong about her being strong. Bling had seen pain in others often and he recognized when it became too much. He saw that look in Max's eyes and he saw her shut down, self preservation, he guessed. He doubted she would ever let herself be open again. Bling knew that Logan knew this also, but it didn't seem to matter. 


	2. Max says goodbye to Alec

A/N: This was supposed to be attached to Chapter 1. It's not really meant to stand alone. The real Ch. 2 is in the works. Thanks to those who have reviewed. I appreciate it and will incorporate suggestions.

The Space Needle--Midnight.

"I figured you'd be up here." Alec spoke gently as not to startle her, but he needn't have worried. She heard him coming long before his shadowy figure appeared in front of the glowing moon.

"Yeah, I'm sort of saying goodbye to Seattle." She smiled at him, and at the memories she would take with her of the city. It had been good to her, mostly.

"Yeah, I guess there is no point in convincing you to stay." He stood next to her gazing at the gigantic moon.

"No, I'm leaving." She looked at him. 

"Okay kiddo, don't be afraid to ever come back, or look me up." 

"Alec, I'm touched. I didn't think you had become so. ."

"Human?" He said sarcastically.

"I was gonna say _emotional_." She smiled softly.

"Where are you going?" He didn't honestly expect her to tell him.

"Not sure yet but lots of operations could benefit from someone with my, shall we say, training."

"You're not going into. ." He was stunned.

"Alec, I tried to live a life, I failed. Military is where I belong. I fit there." 

"Are you kidding?" He said incredulously.

"No, and I don't think. . ."

"Max, this is nuts. You won't be able to handle that!"

"I'm going." She didn't have any fight in her.

Alec knew the conversation had ended. There would be no persuading her now. Maybe in time, maybe if she let him know where she was.

"Did he tell you why he left?" She asked.

"No." Alec answered. He wished he had more to tell her, but Logan hadn't been at all happy that Alec had stopped by while he was making his escape. 

"Yeah, well, I can't worry about the riddle of Logan Cale anymore." 

"I worry about the riddle of you." He said staring into her chocolate brown eyes.

"I'm no riddle Alec. I'm a descendant of a blueprint. I can be duplicated, assembled, reassembled, and reissued."

"I guess you are speaking of all the X series." His voice had turned to stone.

"No," she answered gently. She hadn't realized that she had hurt him. "But maybe, if you find love Alec, don't tell her that you're a genetically engineered killing machine."

Alec's expression softened as he watched the pain flash in Max's eyes. He knew Logan had wounded her. He sure as hell didn't understand why these two couldn't stop themselves from inflicting torment upon each other, but it was their soap opera. 

Max looked at him, smiled and finally spoke. "Good luck to you. I will think of you often and wish you happiness." And with that, Max dove off the Space Needle and into the thick black fog that had descended on the city. 


	3. Paris

A/N: Six years have passed since Logan left Max in Seattle.

She sees him, still in his wheelchair, facing the park, head buried in a newspaper. She inhales deeply and is disturbed by the emotions that are stirred within her. She didn't think she still felt things, hell, felt anything. She drank him in. His hair, still spiky and going every which way. His glasses, still rimless, his hands. She had forgotten how strong they were. His legs looked frail. She was saddened to see that. She had hoped, for his sake, that he would still not be in the chair after all these years. Slowly she circled the park, checking, as always, to be sure she wasn't followed. She looked the part of a college student today. Backpack slung over one shoulder, jeans, black sweater, baseball cap on backwards. She kept herself anonymous. No one even gave her a second glance as she closed in on the man in the wheelchair. She sat down on the bench next to him. He looked up at her, smiled politely and then returned his gaze to his newspaper. Her heart drummed in her chest. He didn't recognize her. Was she saddened? She couldn't tell anymore. Perhaps he wasn't on to her. Perhaps his sitting here, in this park in Paris was a complete coincidence. Her musings were disturbed by the rustling of his newspaper. She returned her gaze to him and was met with his piercing blue eyes. She couldn't breathe, her voice wouldn't come. The seconds ticked by. Finally, he spoke.

"Max," he said simply.

"Yeah" she smiled. And with that, he moved closer to her. She watched his easy control of the wheelchair and realized he was well practiced. She wondered if he had stopped trying for the "miracle cure" he so desperately sought when they were together.

"What are you doing here?" He said incredulously.

"Truthfully, I thought you were tracking me. I've been following your movements since I learned of your arrival in Paris."

"No, I. . ." he was befuddled at the thought. She knew he was in Paris, how? 

"Why _are_ you here?" She asked coolly.

"For an article I'm writing about a vigilante group. The leader has agreed to an interview." His eyes moved over her and absorbed the simple sight of her. She hasn't changed, he thought. She doesn't look a day older since we parted 6 years ago. Manticore, he thought. Of course, she was after all, perfect.

Max was well aware of the group he was referring to. They had been sloppy and were bound to get caught. She had worked with them for a time, when it suited her needs. She didn't like Logan getting involved with them. They were too careless and were heading for a fall, and Logan would fall with them if he were in the wrong place at the wrong time.

"It's not safe Logan. Don't do the interview. You should leave Paris. This group is borderline fanatical. They could bring you a lot of trouble." She said evenly.

"How do you know about all of this?" He still couldn't wrap his brain around the fact that Max was sitting in front of him. He wanted to reach out and touch her. He could feel himself being pulled towards her. Instead, he nervously placed his hands on his wheels and rocked back and forth ever so slightly.

"I can't divulge that. All I can do is warn you, and I assure you, my advice is sound." She said a little too forcefully. Was she trying to convince him that his appearance here didn't rattle her? She didn't know anymore.

"Well, in that case, I appreciate your advice, but I've got to make up my own mind." He met her gaze with his own. His icy blue eyes were locked with her velvet brown ones.

"Yeah, I figured you'd say that." She smiled.

He didn't know what to say anymore. He just stared at her. Finally, his heart spoke.

"I've missed you Max." His voice betrayed his attempts to steady it.

Max exhales deeply. His admission cut her to the bone. She had built barriers against feeling anything, yet he had just brought them tumbling down. She could feel the tears building behind her eyes. _Damn it_, she thought, _I will not just turn to a puddle, now, after all this time_. She controlled her breathing and then finally brought her gaze up to meet his.

"I have a question I want answered Logan. I'm sure you already know what I'm going to say." She said steadily.

Logan knew this moment would come. He knew no matter how long it had been, one day, he would see her again, and he would have to face this question. He had been a coward that day, all those years ago, and he was still a coward, he thought. He could not run again, he decided. He had to tell her.

"Why did I leave you?" He said softly.

He thought her saw pain flash across her chocolate eyes, but then it disappeared. He wondered if Bling had been right six years ago when he warned him that this time, Max may not recover from such a wound. He couldn't think about it then, not that day, but he had thought of little else as the years wore on.

She merely nodded at him. She felt her insides twist. She wanted to scream at him, "_WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME? WHAT DID I DO?_" She steadied herself and practiced the deep slow breaths that had saved her so many times.

"Max, I. . I'm sorry." was all that he could get out.

She stood up and scanned the park quickly before checking her watch. The nervous energy inside her was making her crazy. She had to get away from this man, this person that could contort every well-trained muscle in her body. She needed freedom. 

"Logan, I've got to go. I'm . . late for work." She said, barely able to control her voice. _Yes_, she thought, _work. That's just what I need. To pull a job. I'll contact Mr. Chandeau and advise him that I'm a go for tonight, if he still wants my services in acquiring a certain diamond._

Logan was taken aback. "Um, okay." He stammered. He recognized her 'fight or flight' behavior and wondered if she were escaping from the awkwardness of this conversation. He thought that if he had been able, he would have run away from here at top speed.

Max quickly gathered together her backpack and placed her cap on backwards. She started to walk past him, and then stopped and put a hand on his shoulder. He looked at the hand, and then let his eyes travel up towards its owner. 

"You are still so beautiful." He said simply.

She could actually feel her heart breaking. How could he say such things and then push her away. You shouldn't be allowed to feel so much pain, she thought. Only Logan could do this to her. She longed to be with him, if only he would ask, she would go with him. If she could have slapped herself, she would have. _He would not ask, remember_, she thought cynically. _You had been standing right there, if front of him, six years ago, and he told you it was over. How many more times are you going to let him reject you._

"Logan, you're killing me." And with that, she removed her hand from his shoulder and walked away. By the time Logan had spun his wheelchair around, she was no where in sight. '_Of course not you fool_,' he thought, '_she's a pro_.'

As Logan let his head fall back down to the newspaper lying in his lap, he scanned the headline in French and read it out loud, "The Phantom of Paris strikes again." '_Oh no' _he thought suddenly, _could that be Max?_ After scanning the article about the recent string of burglaries, Logan was almost certain he recognized Max's work. Armed with this new knowledge, Logan picked up his cell and speed dialed Alec. 

"Hey I need you in Paris ASAP."

Logan smiled to himself. He didn't know how he knew Max was this mysterious "Phantom" of Paris that he had been reading about. Something inside just seemed to tell him. After all, if anyone knew Max, he did. He needed a thief to catch a thief. He only prayed that Alec was a match for Max. If she had been doing this for the past six years, well, who knew. Of course, Alec was no slouch. Logan had sent him on numerous Eyes Only missions, and he had never been caught. 

Logan's Hotel Room (24 hrs later)

Alec sat on the couch, studying all the material Logan had gathered on the Phantom in the past 24 hours. 

"Buddy, this all looks good, but why do we want to catch the Phantom? I mean, what does she have that you want?" Logan had been only half listening to Alec while perusing several documents, but at Alec's last words, he spun around and wheeled vigorously until he was in front of the man.

"What did you say?" He asked incredulously.

Alec knew he had blown it, but he had hoped Logan hadn't noticed. The newspapers had assumed the Phantom was male, but of course Alec knew better. He had been tracking Max's conquests through the past six years and had learned of her infamous title. He thought about playing dumb, but Logan had caught his slip, perhaps it was even a Freudian slip, he wasn't sure.

"You think Max is the Phantom?" He didn't want to say that he already knew this to be true.

"Alec, spill it now." Logan patience was wearing thin with this cat and mouse game. 

"Okay, Max is the Phantom." 

"And. . ." Logan said with building frustration.

"Buddy, that's all I have to say. I don't know what went on between you two, and I never asked, but what I know or don't know about Max is my business, okay?"

"God Damn it Alec!" Logan wheeled away from him and towards the balcony. He needed air. He felt like he was drowning all of a sudden.

Alec slowly rose from the couch and made his way out on the balcony. He sat on the edge of the chaise opposite Logan. 

"Listen Logan, I didn't really know what to do. I don't have a lot of experience in matters of the heart." He chuckled, then continued. "Truthfully man, I didn't even know you were looking for her."

With that, Logan's head rose and his blue eyes stared unblinkingly at Alec. '_He was right'_, Logan thought. He hadn't been looking for. He had avoided her, avoided any knowledge of her. But still, somewhere inside, he had carried hope of seeing her again. 

"Do you want me to arrange a meeting with her, cause I have her number, I can just call her." Alec said.

Logan threw up his hands in frustration. "Yes, call her Alec, by all means, and tell her I need to see her immediately." 


	4. Answers

It was nearly midnight when Logan finally heard the soft knock on the door. Before he could reach it, he heard the faint clicking noise of the lock being picked and then saw Max come in. He smiled remembering the old days. 

She drank him in again and was disturbed at the effect his appearance had on her. She could smell him from outside the door. His faint cologne mixed with soap and whatever else gave him that cinnamon or pine scent that he had. She allowed herself to inhale him. She quickly regathered her defenses. 

"I don't like meeting like this." She said as she quickly surveyed the hotel suite, checking behind each window and studying any potential threat to their safety.

"Max, please could we sit?" He gestured to the couch, and Max sat but maintained her rigid posture. Logan slowly wheeled over to her until only the coffee table was between them.

She slowly raised her head until her eyes met his, and yet again, she could feel her heart quicken. She prayed Logan couldn't tell.

"Logan, I . ." She lost all train of thought.

"Listen Max, I need to tell you a few things that you aren't going to like."

"That seems to be your M.O." she spat out before she realized the venom that she still had in her.

He looked up shocked by the tone of her voice. At least it was something, he thought. He took a deep breath and then dove in.

"I wasn't following you to Paris. I didn't know you were here. If I had, I never would have come." He nervously rubbed his palms on his knees. Her eyes never left his. He could see the hostility that lay there. 

"Logan, I got it the first time you told me six years ago. You never want to see me again. You don't need to beat it into my head." And with that, she started to rise to leave. As she brushed past him, he grabbed her wrist.

"I have a lot more to say to you and you need to hear it. Your life is in danger."

Max could feel the heat of his hand on her wrist and fought the urge to curl herself into his lap. Instead, she shrugged him off with a little too much force.

"I'm not in danger anymore. I'm not the same girl you knew. No one would dare tangle with me Logan." She said at barely a whisper and followed it with a sinister grin. She was remembering her own reputation among vigilante killers. It was a small circle of mercenaries and she was well known for her brute strength and fierce fighting skills. I

"Yeah, I know. You're the 'Phantom'." He said flatly.

She was surprised, but not shocked that he had learned of her nickname. 

"Yeah well, we can't all _save the world_." She said airily as she again moved around the suite checking all potential areas of vulnerability. 

"It's Zack." He said suddenly.

She was glad that she wasn't facing him when he said that. She didn't want him to see the pain that washed over her face at the mention of his name. She steeled herself, then turned to face him.

"What about him?" She controlled her words steadily.

"He'll kill you if he sees you with me." Logan heard her footsteps before he realized she was now standing in front of him.

"What?" She spat.

"Max, he told me that if he saw us together again, he would kill you. He knew you wouldn't leave me, and he was so afraid for the safety of the others if you were _compromised._"

Max felt her head swim. She knew she was going to fall down if she didn't grab onto something. Quickly she sat back down on the sofa and rubbed her temples.

"When did he . .?" She couldn't put her thoughts into complete sentences.

"Six years ago."

Max rose again from the couch. The sudden knowledge had propelled her from the cushion. Her head pounded. Zack had done this. Zack had forced Logan to break it of with her. Finally she spoke.

"Are you saying that it wasn't your doing that sent me away?"

Finally Logan could no longer control his voice. He removed his glasses and rubbed his hand over his face, as if to affect his expression.

He could not meet her gaze, so he spoke downward.

"It wasn't what I wanted to do. I hated him for it. But I did it. I'd rather have you alive without me, then dead Max. I loved you." He forced himself to use the past tense. "And Zack is the reason I wanted to see you today. If he knows that we met in the park, or are meeting here today, then you may already. ."

Max cut him off sharply.

"Zack is dead."

Logan didn't think he would be the one to receive shocking news today, and this was a shock. He fought for control.

"Zack's dead?" He asked with disbelief.

"Yes. I killed him four and 1/2 years ago."

If Logan hadn't already been sitting, he would have fallen over, he thought ironically. He nervously placed his hands on his wheels and rocked back and forth. He felt like someone had punched him in the chest. Zack was dead and had been dead for over 4 years. That's four years he could have been with her. He shook that thought away momentarily when he looked up and saw her face. He recognized the fight for control her saw in her eyes. He then remembered that she had said that _she_ had killed him.

"_You _killed Zack?" He asked, trying not to sound horrified. He could hear Lydecker's words in his head still; '_she's not the girl next door. You have no idea what she's capable of_.'

Max rose again and walked to the window. He studied her as she moved. She never made a sound. The air around her barely moved. Finally, facing the glass still, she spoke.

"I killed him Logan. I did it." She said flatly.

He waited for what seemed like an eternity for her to continue, but she never did. Finally, he spoke.

"Why Max?" He asked gently.

With that, she spun around and was again in front of him so quickly, he barely had time to register the action. Her brown eyes glowed with anger.

"What gives you the right to ask me that? To ask me anything?" 

Logan instinctively moved backwards, away from her. He was shocked by the venom still inside her.

"I don't know Max, I'm sorry" was all he could say.

Max straightened her willowy frame and seemed to remake her calm facade. 

"The circumstances surrounding that event are mine to bare, mine alone." 

Logan was saddened to hear her voice that calm. At least when she was yelling at him, she seemed alive. Now, she had again disappeared behind that damned wall of self-protection. 

"Okay, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pry." He tried to calm his own voice to match her even rhythm. 

"Listen, I gotta go." She exhaled with what seemed to Logan to be despair.

"No, not yet." He spoke from the heart. His tone must have betrayed his emotions because Max turned to face him. Her eyes finally flashed with the recognition he so desperately wanted to see. She walked slowly until she was standing in front of him. She cast her brown eyes down upon him then reached her hand to him. He took it and closed her small hand inside his.

"I can't stay with you." She said.

"You can if you want to. I want you to." He tried.

"It's been too long Logan. Things are different." She steadied her voice. _If he knew how different, he would never want me again, _she thought bitterly.

"I know, but we could try to start something new Max, something different." He didn't want to let her walk out of his life again.

She looked up to the ceiling and let go of his hand. She realized she was going to say it, say the thing that would make him let go of her forever. 

"I'm on the run Logan. I'm a wanted criminal." 

"I know about the 'Phantom' business, we'll get you somewhere safe, we'll change your identity. ." His thoughts were running together as they spilled from his lips.

"No, you don't understand. I'm not a petty thief, well, I am, but there's more. I'm a mercenary, a hired gun." She slowly lowered her gaze to see his reaction.

"You kill people for money." His voice was barely a whisper. 

"Yeah, and I'm always on the move, I have to leave Paris tonight in fact." She was starting to get nervous until his judgmental, icy stare.

Logan couldn't believe what he was hearing. All those Eyes Only missions she went on. He thought she was fighting the good fight along with him. What was going on here? How did this happen to her?

"Do you even want to come home with me, even if you could?" He couldn't help himself from asking her.

She waited a long time, then said, "I'm too dangerous to have around the house Logan. I have to run, and you can't run with me." And with that, she stepped away from him and was out the door before he realized it. She had struck him where it hurt most. He was surprised that reference to his disability could still hurt. Maybe it was because it had come form Max, the one person who mattered. Hell, she was right. _You can't exactly be on the lamb with handicapped license plates_, he thought bitterly. But, she had offered once. So many years ago. She had said that he could go with her. She didn't care then, but apparently she cared now.

At the sound of the adjoining door opening, Logan spun around to see Alec.

Logan cleared his throat, and his mind of emotion.

"You still want me to tail her?" Alec asked, obviously having heard the conversation.

"Definitely." Was Logan's cold response.

"Okay," and with that, Alec slipped out the door, dressed all in black. 


	5. Stay

Max stood on his balcony and stared into his hotel suite. He was typing furiously into his laptop. He stopped and pushed his glasses up on the bridge of his nose. Max exhaled deeply and with that, she finally released the tears that had been locked away for so long. She was certain the hard rain and darkness cloaked her form on his balcony. She was, as usual these days, dressed in all black. What she wanted, what she needed lay only a few feet from her, behind the glass window. Why couldn't she just let herself have him? Why was she destined to hurt her whole life? She let the weight of these questions rest on her shoulders and almost collapsed under the pressure. She had not fooled herself in these 6 lonely years. She had missed him from the moment her sent her away. She wished she could turn back time. If only she had known about Zack. Ah, Zack, she thought painfully. She bore the pain of his death as sharply as if it had happened yesterday. 

Max turned away from the window and prepared to scale down the building in one fluid swoop. She almost fell when she heard Alec's voice.

"Why are you doing this Max?" 

She turned to face him. He hadn't changed as he sat on the edge of the roof above her and smirked. He too wore the standard issue uniform of cat burglars. He hopped down without a sound and stood facing her.

"Alec?" She asked unbelievingly.

He was startled by her confusion. He took a long look at her and noticed her tears. Something was amiss.

"Yeah Max, of course." He smiled with concern in his eyes.

Max smiled at him, trying to hide her exhaustion. She extended her gloved hand and he reached with his own and held her hand for a long moment. They both understood that didn't have the means to comfort each other with words. Finally, Max gave Alec's hand a gentle squeeze and let go.

"Don't go yet." He said softly.

"If I don't leave here, I'll lose it Alec. I'm barely holding on as it is."

"Why don't you just stay with him Max, he loves you." Alec said in frustration. 

Max's heart skipped a beat at Alec's words, but truly it was not a surprise to her now, not after learning the truth about their parting six years ago. If only she hadn't run so far from who she was. What kind of testament was that? She had been wounded by him, and became everything he despised in the passing years. She knew he could never really love her, not now. 

As if Alec had heard her thoughts, he said "He will forgive you."

Max looked up into Alec's clear eyes suddenly. She had not expected that from him. He had changed. She wondered if Logan had rubbed off him.

She didn't say another word but smiled kindly at him, then dove off the railing of the balcony into the blackness of the night below. Alec ran his hands through his hair in frustration then turned to enter the room. He was startled to turn and see Logan staring at him from behind the glass. Alec slowly opened the glass doors and let himself in. He watched Logan make his way over to the door. Alec leaned back against the closed doors and sighed.

"She's a mess Logan."

"If I don't get to her here in Paris, she'll slip through my fingers again and it will be another six years before I catch a glimpse of her!" Logan wheeled strongly towards his laptop, then suddenly jerked one wheel so that he spun neatly to face Alec again. "Alec, do you think she really wants to run away from me?" He asked in a low grumble.

Alec stood and paced. This was not a subject he wanted to discuss. His own romantic entanglements had ended with death and with an on-again/off-again situation with Asha that made him feel like he was losing his mind.

"I don't know." Was all he could come up with. He felt at least he had been truthful.

"Me neither." Logan said in a voice that sounded like defeat.

With that, Alec stood up and clapped his friend on the shoulder and then let himself into the adjoining room. "I gotta crash man, no shark DNA in my cocktail."

Logan turned slowly and watched Alec walk away. He had made reference to his DNA often, just as Max had. He wondered if they ever had a moment when they didn't think of themselves as government engineered assassins. What a freak show that place was, he thought. Taking actual human beings, well mostly, and trying to crush the humanity out of them. Well, it certainly backfired, he thought wryly.

Two weeks later (back in Seattle at Logan's Apartment)

It was well after midnight when Logan heard the window in the living room open softly. He held his breath. It was so familiar. It could only be her He wheeled slowly through the hall and turned toward the darkened living room. His heart beat loudly in his chest as he watched his cat burglar slip through the pane. She spotted him immediately and a small smile flashed on her face before she corrected it. 

"Logan, I'm sorry to be here, like this." She stood perfectly still, displaying none of the old Max's nervous energy that kept her constantly in motion. 

"Max, I am so glad you're here." He wheeled over to her and reached for her. He didn't care if she rejected him; he just wanted her to know that he wanted her.

She turned and walked away from his outstretched palm to the sofa and sat down. He dropped his hand into his lap, and then followed her.

When he had stopped and set the brakes on his chair, she began.

"Logan, let's end this." 

If someone had punched him in the chest, he would have felt less pain.

"What do you mean, what do we even _have_ that we need to end?" He said angrily.

"No, I mean, stop your search for me." She said in an even tone.

He was surprised she had learned of his inquiries.

"I just wanted to see you again" he said.

"You can't Logan. I.. ." She faltered and then regained her composure. "I can't let myself be tied to anything, least of all you." She finished strongly.

"Why least of all me? I can take care of myself you know." He matched her angry tone with his.

Max rose from the sofa and began to pace. Logan smiled inwardly that Max's mannerisms hadn't changed that much.

"Logan, _not_ because you can't take care of yourself. Damn you, why do you always go there." 

"I don't know Max, maybe because I could be with you now if I could run with you." He finished without betraying the lump stuck in his throat. She spun and stared at him with cold eyes.

"I don't have time for your issues Logan." 

He was impressed at her fortitude. She would not be easy to crack, but by God, he was not letting her go again without hearing from the real Max, his Max.

"_My_ issues, you're the one that thinks she's unworthy of love because she was conceived in a test tube." He fired back.

"Calling me a test tube baby is the understatement of the millennium." She retorted hotly.

"Yeah, maybe so, but why does it matter?" He finished unable to look at her. 

Max turned and looked out the window. "It's raining." She said quietly, and then added "I've missed Seattle."

Logan wheeled to her and touched her hand. She flinched but did not pull away. "Let's go for a walk." He asked.

She looked at him and smiled. "Logan, I can't be seen with you." 

"I'm not in danger." 

"Everyone I touch is in danger. Don't you get it. I did this--to myself. I damned myself to hell on purpose when you . . . when we." She chocked back a sob. Through tears, she finished, "Don't you see Logan, I made this choice six years ago, and it cannot be undone, no matter what."

"No matter?" He begged her to finish.

"No matter how much I wish it were different." And with that, she collapsed on her knees and covered her face with her gloved hands. Logan set the brakes quickly and slid out of his wheelchair and gathered her in his arms. She let him hold her for a long while until the sobs finally ceased and were replaced by even breathing. She pushed away from his chest and looked into his blue eyes.

"Max, it's going to be okay." 

She knew he wanted that to be true, but it wasn't. Not even the great Eyes Only could deal with all of the people that were on her tail. In her six years, she had pulled a lot of jobs and left a wake of people wanting her dead. Even now, she was gambling with his life, and she knew she had no right to do that.

"Does it matter to you at all what I want?" He asked still staring at her.

"What do you want?" She asked resigned.

He realized he couldn't give voice to all that he wanted. He wanted things to be different. Everything to be different. He didn't want Max to from Manticore. He didn't want to be stuck in a wheelchair. He wanted to go with her if she had to go.

"I want you to be with me" he sighed and looked down at his legs and fought back the frustration building in his chest.

Max gently touched his cheek and smiled. "I love you. I always have."

Max rose slowly and headed for the window. She threw one leg over the sill and then turned to look one last time upon the only man she ever loved. His blue eyes were unwavering in his concentration on her.

"Max, don't go." He said.

"I have to go." She replied and then turned toward the dark rainy sky. She inhaled deeply and then shuddered. She raised both her arms and stood in the window frame and then let go and dove off the side of the building. Logan quickly returned to his chair and made his way to the window. He looked down but there was no sign of her. He was about to turn away when he caught a shadow on an adjacent rooftop. It was Max and she was running at full speed and then leapt off the roof onto the next building at least 60 feet away. He caught her silhouette in the moonlight and wondered if that would be the last he ever saw of her. 

A week later: (Logan's apartment)

Logan sat typing at his desk when he heard the sounds of footsteps approaching. He knew it was Alec even before the man spoke.

"Hey Alec" he called out.

"Hey yourself." Alec answered while settling himself into the computer chair opposite Logan.

"You haven't heard anything?" Logan asked trying not to sound too anxious.

"No man, sorry." Alec sat with his elbows on his knees looking at the floor.

"I just don't get why she couldn't try to come back here. I mean, she knows we would have done everything to keep her safe from whoever." Logan trailed off.

"Nah, I don't think that was why." Alec said while gazing out the window at the cloudy Seattle day.

Logan realized Alec was about to reveal some insight he had yet to learn about Max. He sat silently and waited for his friend to go on.

"She hates herself for who she is, what she became after you guys broke up." Alec said softly still looking away from Logan.

"But, I could of. ." Logan realized he had no words to take away that pain.

"She doesn't feel like she belongs anywhere. I can't say I don't know how that feels." Alec said as he returned his gaze to Logan. "Knowing _why_ we were brought into this world, what we were _made_ for, that's tough to get over, even all these years later." 

"Your DNA does not determine who you are." Logan spoke to Alec, but wished he could reach Max with that message.

"Doesn't it though?" Alec asked of Logan and then got up and walked to the window, keeping his back to his friend. He couldn't tell him that he had seen Max that night; that she had found him to say goodbye. She made him promise to keep Logan safe and to watch his own back. He knew at that very moment that Max, the old Max was gone and whatever flickers they had seen of her in Paris would be put out forever. Logan would never see Max again, and even if he managed to catch a glimpse of her someday, he would never recognize her. She was going under and there was nothing Alec could do to save her. Whatever concrete facade she erected for herself was firmly in place now, and Max was gone. 


End file.
